I knew dancing down those steps was a bad idea...

I haven't written on here in ages!

I'm very sick, and I feel absolutely icky.
I have a horrific sinus headache, and I can't stop sneezing! >O
And to top it all off, I fell down half a flight of stairs two days ago, and have a bruised foot, and butt! And of course Tiamat was at the bottom waiting to bombard me with kisses.
I was on the phone with Levi when it happened, and I was so embarrassed!
I can't believe it's almost 4 in the morning. I have had the worst sleeping schedule since I got sick. >< I'm fairly certain it was Ashikins that got me sick. :o

I can't stop thinking about Autumn's book! I need to know what happens next!
She had better hurry and write chapter 2!

I had more to say, but I can't think of what..
I've been kind of out of it.
You guys understand. :D

Hopefully I'll make an entry worth while tomorrow. >>

What is a girl to do?

I definately forgive that guy much too fast. He is the only person to ever make me feel like I'm unintelligent, and he should have been the last to make me feel that way.
I ended up forgiving him, but I still feel like shit.
Now I'm just upset because I had to ask my mom if he could come for Aunt Georgias wedding, and if she could pay for his plane ticket, and he can't even ask his mom one last time if he can come.
I just want him to show the slightest sign of wanting to come here.
His unwillingness to talk to his mom is hardly reassuring.

...Asshole.


I'm bored out of my mind. I want to draw, but I lack talent.
I get so frustrated when my work ends up looking like an elephant when I tried to draw a rabbit.
Frustrating, right?
Okay. That might have been a bit of an over exaggeration. But still.
One of my best friends is lacking food once again. I feel the need to make him Rice krispy treats, once more. Last time I made them, it took the post office about two weeks to get them to him! WTF, mate!? But I love him, and want to help. So I'm using my own money this time, since mom is bitter about the last time and does not want to help. There goes my beautiful, wonderful piercing. D::: Whatever. A human being who barely gets to eat, is more important than a stupid piercing any day. I think so. This sucks most, since I just got enough money to get it done. :[ I had to take three online tests for my dad. They took me hours. It's a long story. ....I'm still bitter. And what the hell!? My wonderful boyfriend can't even put aside one fucking Saturday to talk to me. He used to be really sweet. He used to make me feel special. Not so much anymore, guys.

Not good enough?

Apparently you'll never make anything of your life, if you don't attend public school.
Going to public school looks good on your resume, you know.
I have no desire to return to that hell hole.
I'm old fashioned. I have the soul of a sixty year old woman.
All I've ever wanted out of life is a family.
I don't want to have a fancy job where I get over paid.
Fuck being a lawyer, or a doctor.
I don't need to have a college degree to write a childrens book.
I don't need a college degree to do anything I want to do.
He can love me and marry me, and give me children.
But I know that in his mind, I'll never be good enough for him.
How am I supposed to live with that?
No one has ever made me feel so dumb in my life..
I love Levi more than anything in this world, but how am I supposed to live my life knowing he and his family don't think I'm good enough.
People you love should never make you feel this way.
I don't know what to do about anything anymore.